Testament

This testament is not one to religion,
Nor to love or lust that has now past transgressed,
In hopes of finding maybe my own path,
In search of something that feels now to be missing,
Growing older with years in mind,
And how my hand has held many that were believe to be meaningful,
Yet only a few linger in my mind evermore,
To share this openly and not be judged,
Nor taken aback,
Diving into something son uncertain my delve into my hand,
So now I sit here,
With thoughts that can not seem to dissipate,
So this testament is something,
Still trying to figure out it's meaning and find myself in it 

Farewell

Do you know what it's like to be stuck in a solemn place,
To be alone with nothing but the never thoughts that seem to consume,
Rack against your brain as you try to stop thinking,
Just laying awake with eyes wide open,
With nothing but these thoughts washing around in your head,
Driven by events past and present,
Wishes that never and did come true,
Being misunderstood and unable to explain,
Losing out and being cut out entirely,
Not be able to say good bye,
No farewell will be coming down from the heavens,
With time lost,
It should just be buried,
Deep within your own subconscious,
Yet it will still effect you,
Keep you awake,
With arms crossed staring at the blank ceiling above,
Just trying to imagine stars to bring you some ease,
Yet nothing helps,
An echo in your mind,
No farewell may be said to those loved and lost,
All that remains is that which is held dear,
Close the chest it seems you may hold,
Those surrounding you,
With only the most pure intentions fathomed,
But society would reap that of labels,
Gender labels and normal tendencies for most,
To group up,
Still eventually it all will just relapse,
Until you know how to bid a final farewell,
Just to know and feel that all could finally be at peace,
Stuck in this solemn place,
Only to find the key and be able to just,
Open the door and say farewell